Kitchen Kabaret - Transcribed by for the readers of r.a.d. Kitchen Kabaret, which played at EPCOT since it's opening, closed in 1994. It was a musical celebration to good nutrition, featuring a wide variety of foods, and presented each of the four food groups, Dairy, Breads, Meat, and Fruits and Vegetables. It reminded me very much of Country Bear Jamboree, and is in that format somewhat in how it's presented. The show is hosted by Bonnie Appetit, a housewife who is facing having to make a new meal for her family. She dreads the same old grind, but with a little help from her friends, she's going to make this meal special and nutritious. Like Country Bear Jamboree, this show also had it's star, a character that was not maybe that apparent, and yet, everyone remembers him. Who is he? The brocolli. He only has a single line, "Cha-cha-cha!" but he is so memorable for lifting his sunglasses and spouting out the words. Disney must have known this, for outside of the Kitchen Kabaret, a shop bared his name, Brocolli & Company. Not counting 4 different appearances, by Miss Appetit, the cast is made up of 26 audio-animatronic characters. Cast: Bonnie Appetit - Host Kitchen Krackpots: Salsa - Piano (cocoa tin) Parmesian Cheese - Guitar Mayonnaise - Drums (Can of tuna and beets) Barbecue Sauce - Fife Mustard - Sax Mr. Dairy and His Stars of the Milky Way: Mr. Dairy Foods - Milk Carton - Vocal Miss Cheese - Swiss Cheese - Vocal Miss Yogurt - Yogurt - Vocal Miss Ice Cream - Chocolate Ice Cream - Vocal The Cereal Sisters: Wheat - Vocal Cereal - Vocal Barley - Vocal The Toast of the Town - Trumpet Ham & Eggs: Mr. Eggs - Comedy & Vocal Mr. Ham - Comedy & Vocal Colander Combo: Tomato - steel drums (cucumbers) & vocal Brocolli - Xylophone (carrots) & vocal Eggplant - Bass drum (lettuce) & vocal Fiesta Fruit: Bananas (3) - backup Pineapple - backup Apple - backup Orange - backup Mango - backup Unfortunately, when Nestle took over the sponsorship of the Land Pavillion, this great attraction was destroyed to make way for Food Rocks. As usual, any parts I was not sure about and there were a few, I marked with a < >. Anyone that can fill these in, will have their name added to the script, as well as anyone with corrections that aren't marked. This way we can get a complete script. Corrections, comments, flames can be sent to sunken@gate.net. This file may be ftp'd at... ftp://ftp.gate.net/pub/users/sunken/KitchenKabaret.txt or ftp://ftp.netcom.com/pub/be/bertino/attractions/wdw/EPCOT.kitchen.kabaret The stage is divided into a large center stage resembling a super size kitchen, with a refridgerator, sink, counter (with toaster) and stove. Then on each side, a smaller stage, where we see the host of the show. Running Time: 14 minutes And now on with the show... The show starts with the curtain closed as the lights go down. Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, Kraft proudly presents a show that's got the whole town cooking, the Kitchen Kabaret. And now here is your host, Bonnie Appetite. The curtain on the far right opens up to reveal a blonde haired woman, sitting in a chair. She looks depressed. There is a cookbook on a musical stand, next to her. Bonnie: Oh dear, it's time for another meal. She begins with a song about mealtime blues. Bonnie sings: Yes the days when I feel downcast, and get the mealtime blues. If I don't plan it properly, my menu will be bad news. Oh the mealtime blues can get you, everytime you dine. But we all can beat that rap and end up feeling fine. So on those days when we feel downcast, I'll give you all some clues, to work magic in our kitchen. (Oooyah) and chase away the mealtime blues. Now the timings right, the shows prepared, let me serve it on up to you. Now the center curtain opens and we see five rather goofy looking characters playing instruments made from stuff around the kitchen. A mayonaise jar is on drums at the center. His drums are cans of beets and tuna, and his drumsticks are a fork and spoon. There is also a barbecue sauce bottle playing the fife, a tabasco sauce bottle playing the piano (which is really a cocoa tin), a parmesian cheese container on banjo, and a squeeze bottle on saxophone. It is unclear who says the one line that they have, because none of their mouths move, but I suspect it's the Mayonaise. Mayonaise: Okay, crackpots, let's get cooking! During a short musical interlude, we don't notice, but Bonnie's stage has closed and reopened with her standing in a showgirl type outfit. The technique is similar to that of Country Bear Jamboree and CoP, in which the small stages rotate while the curtain is closed. Bonnie sings: Thank you folks for coming to my kitchen, As I sing the praise of good nutrition. Eating balanced foods, can keep you fit, feeling grand, a variety at your convenience, can only make the way you feel. The basic food groups makes a perfect team In balance, they are Dairy, bread and cereals, meat, fruits and vegetables That's how to chase those blues, those lowdown mealtime blues, They're how to chase the blues away... Bonnie: Thanks gang, that was a real spicy number. The mayonaise is spotlighted as he waves goodbye to her with the fork in his left hand. Bonnie: Ah, they're such seasoned performers. The refridgerator at center stage left starts opening and dry ice type smoke comes pouring out. We see, four figures silouetted against the icy blue background. As the door continues to open, we hear Bonnie's introduction. Bonnie: Now, let's get things started with a real chilling act. Say hello to our friends, Mr. Dairy Foods and his Stars of the Milky Way. A milk carton, holding an old fashion radio mike, with the label KOW, starts singing like an old time singer. He is very well animated. The figures to which he refers remain in silouette. Dairy Sings: It's time to meet some beauties, On this, our rendevouz. They all come from the dairy, with moving words for you. With grace and ease, here is Miss Cheese! A delightful array of curds. The light now show his co-stars. To his right, is a slab of swiss cheese dressed like Mae West, then behind her an upper shelf, Miss Yogurt, a french looking woman with hair like a yogurt cone, and finally, Miss Ice Cream, a chocolate delight wearing a fur coat and a hat with a cherry on top. The milk carton serves as MC during this segment. Miss Cheese takes the next segment, singing in her Mae West accent. Cheese Sings: Your taste buds are appeased. I know how to please. It's known that I'm too good for words. Oh, isn't that right, big boy? Dairy Sings: Well certainly is! It's nice to flirt With Miss Yogurt, the love of many gourmets. Yogurt Sings: Your palette is assured. I'm really quite cultured In a salad scene or play and each and every day. Dairy Sings: And then of course, then I dream of Miss Ice Cream. A beauty who's charming and sweet. I.Cream Sings:I'm cool through and through And I've got a double scoop for you. The milk carton's mouth drops open as she sings this line. I.Cream Sings:To be with me baby is such a tasty treat. As he sings this final verse, the drawers recede back into the refridgerator and the door closes, so by the time the verse is over, the refridgerator is completely closed, and the next scene can begin. Dairy Sings: Now you've met my beauties, I think you will agree, These girls have such style and taste That's heavenly... Bonnie is now on the left hand stage, still in the show outfit, as she introduces the next act. Bonnie: And now, direct from the silos of the midwest, the Cereal Sisters. A cabinet opens up above the toaster and we see three cartons/bags of cereal, wheat and barley perched up there and they begin to sing. C. Sis Sing: We'd like to sing about a bran that has really gone far. He started with some dough, and then he rose to be a star. He's hot and in the bread and cereal group. , he can never be duped. It's known that he's no plow, a boogie woogie bakery boy, That's bread with a sound. The cabinet, next to the refridgerator opens up and the shelf slides out. On it, a load of bread with sunglasses, playing a bugle. C.Sis Sings: He cute, he toots, toodle toodle toodle...Macaroni... He's fast, he's fat, faster faster faster, say spaghetti... He's plays with so much fun, with a hey bagle bagle and a hot cross bun. The left cabinet closes and the toast again appears out of the toaster under the shelf that the Cereal Sisters are singing. In time, he found the shelf scene was getting humdrum. Sitting on the made him feel like a crumb. One day, he left the counter and it caused him strife. He cleaned up his act for a new spice of life. We're glad he kept his sound, the boogie woogie bakery boy, the toast of the town. Take it from the toast! Breads and cereals are the most! Their cabinet closes and the toast sinks back into the toaster as he plays his trumpet. Bonnie: I think I'll get together with the toast of the town for a jam session. The next performers are heard arguing about which one is better from inside the stove. I can't understand the argument except for the last line. Ham: Don't forget, we're a team. Bonnie: Sorry fellas, well here they are, a real hot act to come to us from their successful tour of the breakfast circuit, those breakfast buddies, Ham & Eggz. >From out of the stove, come a ham, looking like a tough guy, and an egg with a bowtie and hat. He looks like he just came out of vaudeville. Eggz: Home, home on the range, the pan with the... Ham: Not that song, the one we rehearsed. Eggz: Oh! While they sing, like Country Bear Jamboree, their words are put up on a screen in the center of the stage (out the "window"). Ham singing: As members of the meat group, we would like to sing this song. Eggz singing: We will cook you up some ditties that we're singing right along. Ham singing: At meals, our act is very keen! Eggz singing: We're chock full of protein! Both singing: The meat group will help you keep strong! Ham: Now we'll really beef up this act. Eggz: Speaking of beef, let's tell them what happened down at the chicken coop, eh? Ham singing: A hungry fox boldly walked in through a henhouse door. Eggz singing: To bad for him, he met a hen that stood at 6'4'' Ham singing: He won't forget the licking Eggz singing: He got from that big chicken! Both singing: Now he gets his poultry from the store. Ham: By the way, Mr. Eggs, why was chicken little so upset the other day? Eggz: Well his mother fell asleep in a hot tub, and his brother was born hard boiled! Ham: One more joke like that, and we'll get the hook! Eggz: Hook? Say that reminds me. What about the fish story? Ham singing: A school of fish grew tired of a bragging big mouth bass. Eggz singing: Why get straight A's, he used to say, and so he would cut class. Ham singing: Oh, he should have stayed in school. Eggz singing: A worm made him a fool. Both singing: Now there's a test he did not pass. Ham: Oh, Mr. Eggs, what ever happened to that tuna you used to work for? Eggz: Oh sad story, she was caught being fresh and was canned! Ham: Well Mr. Eggz, you are the first egg I ever seen lay an egg. Eggz: Oh yeah? Ham: Let's finish up before you get us in real trouble. Eggz: Yes sir! Ham singing: At meals, our act is very keen! Eggz singing: We are shocked full of high protein! Both singing: The meat group can help you keep strong. Eggz: Say, Mr. Ham, did I ever tell you about the time... Ham: Hold it right there, one more crack out of you and this act is finished. Eggz: One more crack out of me, and the yolk's on you. Ham: That does it, we're through. There are plenty of good protein acts for me to work with. Eggz: Oh yeah, like who? Ham: Cheese, cheese is a great source of protein. Eggz: Oh I cheddar to think about it. As they argue they sink back into the stove as steam comes up. Ham: Beans, now that's a good one. Eggz: Beans? Oh, nuts to you Hammy. Ham: That's right, nuts to me, another excellent source of protein. Eggz: I can't take it. What are you doing? The stage turns into a green and purple as we see the fruit bowl and colander on center stage left turn around. On it, our singing bananas, pineapples, mango, apples, oranges, etc. Also tomatoes, eggplants, and the now the infamous brocolli, wearing his cool ray bans. Fruit sings: Veggie, Fruit, Fruit. Veggie Veggie Fruit Fruit. Veggie Veggie Fruit. Bonnie sings: I simply have to tell you about my friends, who all are singing are delectable. Meals are always finer, if you combine the fruits and vegetables. They are good for you everyone. They make your meal's a lot of fun. Like a carnival! It's nice to see the fruits and vegetables. Bonnie: And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, those fresh ripe performers, the Colander Combo and the Fiesta Fruit. Fruit sings: There are no substitutes for we, Veggie Fruit Fruit, Veggie Veggie Fruit Fruit, you see. Our balance meals are always filled with our vitamins. B and C, See, See, Fruit Fruit, Veggie Veggie Fruit Fruit. Veggie Fruit Fruit. Brocolli: Cha-cha-cha Bonnie sings: My friends, they are exciting just like fireworks igniting. They're incredible. Bonnie joins them in a Carmen Miranda outfit, hanging from the ceiling sitting on a moon, above them. As she sings this line, fireworks can be seen out the window, via fiber optics. This is the same system used in Mexico's El Rio Del Tiempo. Bonnie sings: Sparks always fly, each and every time we try fruits and vegetables. There .............. it's a treat. Like a carnival! It's nice to find the fruits and vegetables. Fruit sings: Veggie Veggie Fruit Fruit Veggie Veggie Fruit Fruit Veggie Veggie Fruit Fruit...Ohlay... Brocolli: Cha-cha-cha! Brocolli flips his glasses up and you see his beady little eyes as he says his line. Then the mood slows down, the spot focuses only on Bonnie. Bonnie: We'd like to thank you all for listening to us. We hope you understand that good nutritions a must. Think of our rhyme, in balance or crust. That is good for your health, That is all that counts. And thus begins the show's finale, where each food group has it's song. First up, Dairy Foods and the Stars of the Milky Way. Cheese sings: Think of our commentary. Yogurt sings: And the food from the dairy. I.Cream sings:It's not hard to imagine Dairy sings: That we'll always be in fashion. Next the cereal sisters and the toast... C. Sis sings: And good people, have you heard? breads and cereals are the word. Tell your friends we have arrived. These foods are into the jive. Then Ham'N'Eggz... Both sings: Just remember with each meal. We have such a tasty deal. Ham sings: Say goodbye to these bad jokes. Eggz sings: Because we're going up in smoke! Then the Colander Combo and Fiesta Fruits... Fruit sings: Hey Amigo, don't forget that the fruit groups are the best. You will enjoy us every meal because we have appeal. Bonnie returns to stage left, and sings the final finale, along with all her new found kitchen friends. Out the window, night turns to day and a bright sun fills the kitchen, like it's morning. Bonnie: As you heard, my friends. You want me to explain. If the palette is an act. The mealtime blues will go away. The food groups, every time you dine, will keep you feeling fine. You'll have such a healthy smile and Feeling good makes each day shine and shine... The show ends as the curtain closes, but not before we see brocolli lift his sunglasses one more time... Kitchen Kabaret is (C) Walt Disney Company. It has been transcribed for the fans. No money was recieved in preparation of this document.